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Real Changes in Motherhood

We all hear it "everything changes when you become a mom" But what does that actually mean?


There's changes that happens in fatherhood too, but for now we'll focus on moms!


We hear this all the time. From our mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends, 'friends,' co-workers, social media and the actual media. But what does it actually mean?


I think most women, before becoming mothers, naively think this just means you sleep less, you gain weight, have more stretch marks and perhaps some saggier boobs. And yes some of this can certainly happen but these superficial changes don't change you in the way our mothers mean.


Seeing those two little pink lines is just the kick off, some women may have symptoms before taking the test and some magical unicorn women may have little to no symptoms throughout the duration of their pregnancy, but we all start to imagine the little life growing inside us. With no popping belly we have no reason to cradle our lower bellies yet you'll find newly pregnant moms still doing so, perhaps even staring at the space where they know their child is growing.

Generally speaking moms begin to feel connected to their babies very early on, this is also why women become very upset over early miscarriages. From the outside it may seem like an idea of a baby but for the pregnant women it was very real.


As women progress in their pregnancy there's a TON of physical changes happening to Mom including the shrinking of parts of her brain. For many women when they hears this they laugh (or cry) thinking about the serious brain fog that has settled in, but it's an important part of preparing women to be mother and 'pruning' our brains.


After our babies are born we may feel like we're going crazy because we're forgetting things that used to seem important but now aren't. But inexplicably we are so tuned into our babies that you may think you hear crying before they even start, or smell a poopy diaper from across the house. Our priorities are shifting, our identities are moving from focusing on ourselves and our spouses, to our children. Our legacy. Tiny, vulnearable little babies. Entirely in our care, they don't come with a user manual so we fear we won't do it 'correctly.' Luckily and unluckily there is no right or wrong way to parent. You will figure out your individual child, what works for them and what doesn't.


As our children grow our sense of perspective continues to shift as you start to think about the world and how your child fits into it. You may find that a true crime lover has lost their taste for it after having a child, unable to bear the idea of somebody hurting someone's else's baby. Apolitical people may seemingly and suddenly become involved in their local government, PTA or neighbor groups to understand how the environment will affect their kids. Friends who may not have children yet can become upset that you're 'changing.' Why can't you just bring the baby? May be something reformed nightowls could hear.


It's okay that you're changing as you grow into motherhood. You're not a different person so much as there is more depth, more facets, more character. You didn't lose yourself so much as you gained a new side of you. And the first time you get the opportunity for a night away with your husband, or a girls trip, you'll have a completely renewed appreciation for an uninterrupted night.

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