Intense feelings of anger and frustration have distressed a generation of new mothers

"Mom Rage" has become a widely recognized term on social media, resonating deeply with many mothers who grapple with intense feelings of anger and frustration. But what exactly is "mom rage," and why is it so distressing? At its core, mom rage is often about a profound sense of loss of control and adjusting to a new reality. Understanding its causes can help mothers find ways to manage these overwhelming emotions.
"Mom Rage" is a nebuous term that typically will be one of the following concerns (See Blog What's the Deal with "Mom Rage?" to learn more.
Postpartum PTSD
Postpartum Depression
Maternal Burnout
Despite being aware of this, no matter what triggers your 'Mom-Rage', it remains incredibly distressing. The challenge and struggle of coping with the loss of control can be overwhelming and often influences all other aspects of transitioning into motherhood. The common saying of "your heart walking around outside your body" rings true and frightening. The fact that, as mothers, we love our children so deeply and only desire the best for them, yet are unable to control them, is truly heart-wrenching. Their sleeping patterns, teething discomfort, ability to chew when starting solid foods, and even their development into childhood and adolescence are milestones that we cannot achieve on their behalf. We act as sheepdogs guiding them to the pasture we believe is best based on our own experiences, aiming to prevent them from making the same mistakes we did. How else can this perceived loss of control impact us?
Overwhelm and Overstimulation: Mothers are often juggling multiple roles and responsibilities, leading to sensory overload. The constant noise, demands, and multitasking can become unbearable, triggering a feeling of rage as a way to cope with the stress and regain some semblance of control.
Guilt and Shame: After an outburst, many mothers feel immense guilt and shame. They question why they reacted so strongly and why they can't manage their emotions better. This guilt can further contribute to feelings of inadequacy and the belief that they have lost control over their ability to be a good mother.
Unmet Expectations: Society often portrays the "supermom" who can do it all effortlessly. When mothers inevitably fall short of these unrealistic expectations, it can lead to feelings of failure and increased frustration, highlighting the loss of control over their lives.
Lack of Support: Many mothers feel isolated and unsupported in their parenting journey. Without adequate help from partners, family, or friends, the pressure builds up, making it harder to manage stress and emotions. This lack of support can intensify the feeling of being out of control.
Fortunately, you are not alone in this. Nearly every mother faces similar challenges and may feel isolated due to the lack of open discussion on the topic. Seek out your support system and community, whether it includes your mother, sisters, cousins, friends, colleagues, or joining a local mom group on Facebook. Connecting with other mothers is crucial, as even the best coping mechanisms cannot alleviate the sense of isolation and loss of control without this support.
This blog is meant to be informative and is not intended to diagnose or treat any conditions. If you are experiencing severe symptoms, please seek professional help.
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